Daddy Daughter Podcast - Asking My Adult Kid on How I Screwed Her Up

I talk a lot about my daughters and how I raised them. I share my lessons and stories on parenting and how I tried to show up in their lives. 

Some people (in youtube comments) were so enraged with my beliefs on parenting that they wondered if I was even really a dad because I seemed so clueless.

How could I have been so naive as to think it was about love, guidance, and support?

Others were certain that I was raising some pansies that would be crushed by the real world. 

Now that my daughters are adults, it's time to face the harsh truth: I completely screwed up their upbringing. But hey, at least we can all laugh about it now, right?

And speaking of laughter, you simply must listen to the latest episode of my podcast, where I chat with my eldest daughter, Fe Aguirre, about how I failed as a parent. 

It's a real knee-slapper, let me tell you. And the best part? 

Fe has agreed to return as a regular guest, so we can all revel in my parenting failures together.

This show is about to become the best Daddy Daughter Podcast ever. Maybe.

Transcript

0:00

Hello everyone. Where is it? I'm looking at that camera. I gotta remember that cause it's kind of usually I see my face. Hello everyone and welcome to the Teevee Show Podcast. Today I am talking to my oldest daughter. It's taking me years and years to get her on the podcast, but she's finally, he's never asked me. Yeah, I wanted you to be older. Uh, I wanted you to be at a age where it would be a little more comfortable for you. Um, and you, I, I felt like you could always talk. It wasn't, that was never a concern. Just, uh, liability and privacy, I guess. Anyways, this is my oldest daughter, uh, and today we're just gonna have a conversation about life and who knows what else comes up. I have a few questions somewhere that I jotted down, uh, that I don't want her to look at, but she'll probably. See them in a little bit. Uh, so I, I'll start with this. Um, first of all, thank you cuz uh, by the way, she's 20. So she no longer is legally obligated to even talk to me, much less come see me or hang out. Um, so it's one thing that I'm really honored and blessed when she does come through because she wants to, uh, so even this podcast in and of itself is because she chooses to and not because she's legally obligated to. Um, so fair. Tell us a little bit about. Adulthood. What does a adulting feel like? Well, how was that transition? It feels good. I think I was very prepared. Um, oh, that makes me happy. Yes. I mean, nothing has hit me like, boom, and I'm like shocked and asking for advice like I was, um, Definitely prepared for a lot of the stuff. And once it hit I was like, there it is. That's what he was talking about. Um hmm. And of course, can you gimme example I just stole, started adulthood, so, um, what your two years in, bro? I'm, yeah, but it doesn't feel like it still there. Yeah. Um, can you give us an example of what you mean by that? Like what was something that came up, you're like, oh, that's what the old man was talking about. Uh, let's see. So he always tried teaching me young because I would, I felt like I was always tired. Um, and I still, even when I worked for him and did little things, I was like, I don't know, I still slacked a lot, but once working for a real company, you see like, oh, there's no slacking, and you're even more tired. Um, but then again, you're, I feel very energized because of my job. If that makes sense. Like, although I'm, it, it takes up majority of my day. I'm very energized to go to work. Um, bills food, I enjoy eating out and it all caught up to me because I enjoy good food, not eating good. I like eating really good and I don't think there's a week where I haven't gone. Out to a restaurant. Mm-hmm. It's usually on the weekend. That's where I treat myself because I cook all week. Um, so it's a pat on her back, like, yeah, let's go out to eat. Let's do it. Yeah. Um, relationships, managing relationships, and that's like just with people at work. Um, Hmm. Yeah, a lot of it is people at work, especially because I felt like I entered adulthood at a very young age, at a different level. Um, so people expect less from me, and so it's just managing their expectations and also like, Being patient enough to tell them. Like that's cuz I know I look young and I'm sitting, you are young. I am young. And I'm over here telling them like different, like in conversations I could give them a life lesson. And they're like, what do you know? And it's just like, Okay. I get it. I get it. I'm, I'm much younger than you. Um, you're supposed to be screwing up a lot. Yeah. I'm supposed to be messing up, like really like crying to them right now. My parents about how much I need help right now, but I don't think I do that. Um, and so it's just been. I've had patience with everyone and their expectations that I know from the beginning that they have set on me, which is like nothing. They don't have expectations at all. And so whenever I'm over here, I'm like managing them. I have to unders like I've come to understand like, okay, I'm young. Let me teach them how to treat me and um, and why they should treat me that way because. My relationship is valuable. Um, and then of course I feel like I've been very patient as a young, like person, even like in high school, patient with friends, patient with teachers, and now I've learned to set boundaries where no one's validation matters to me. You said that the other day. Mm-hmm. It was interesting. You, you, you said that to someone in a conversation. Yeah. Right. Yeah, it like, I don't, it's not important to me because I know where I wanna, I have the mindset of where I wanna go, where it's possible. Like I just, I know what I can achieve and I know myself and I know I've. Been parented very good. And so the feelings I feel are valid and no one else's opinions outside opinions matter. Like you can share them with me, you can give me insight, you can help me understand better because maybe I am lacking some knowledge on some things. Um, cause I, I get like, I don't know everything, but I've come to understand not to be too patient with people because if they're. Invalidating my feelings super often, then they shouldn't be in my life instead of supporting me. Wow. Okay. Well that's amazing. Um, you spoke about work, so share with the people what you do. Um, And why you like it? Okay. He likes this one a lot because you'll see why. Um, right now I am a project coordinator at a digital marketing and advertising company, um, which is exactly what he does. Surprising, um, and. I manage projects and make sure they get out on time and that they're running, um, according to the timeline we've created for them. So I'm staying on top of the team and I'm staying on top of clients as well. Um, a little about it is I started fresh outta high school, and this is where it like, kind of hits everyone like. I put everybody I don't know on a rollercoaster because I was like, yeah, I'm not going to college. So. Okay. Let me ask you about that. Mm-hmm. What was my reaction when you asked, when you told me, do you remember? I don't wanna go to college? Um, I think it wasn't like an initial, like, I don't wanna go to college. And that's the first time I ever told him I, I had a lot of, um, Like I would question college a lot leading up to it. Mm-hmm. And so I think that's why it was so easy for me to make the final decision, like I'm not going is because I had support from the beginning of, you do what you want because you have, you have so many, there's so many ways I can become successful if it's not through college, and we'll find another way. And so, You were supportive throughout the whole path of me deciding if I wanted to go to college or not. And if it was for me because I didn't have a great high school experience. Like yeah, I had great friends. That part, yes. But when it came to, um, I'm doing math sci and I have always, like, I would get great grades and, and I would try my best to get A's and like high A's, but it was never fun to me. It was always just so stressful and it just, it, it didn't feel like it came naturally to me. To me, it felt like I had to work super hard for it and like, like I said, it was my energy was gone and I didn't wanna go to college and have to do the basics all over again. To be able to do something and getting a degree in marketing, um, when I knew I already had a lot of the skills that I picked up from him. And so that's what I knew. And so that whole time, that's all that was running through my mind and what had me questioning if I really wanted to go, if this was something I wanted to do or my peers and my teachers and the people around me wanted me to do. And so, So for me, when she did come to me with it, uh, I supported it because I didn't go to college. Um, and it's not to dismiss college, cuz I'm sure I'm gonna catch some, some college, some college hate. Uh, so on the flip side, just for context, my old, my younger child, she's more of the academic type. Right now we're working through college applications and college scholarships and what costs and tuition and everything involved in that. So this is not me poo-pooing on college, but I knew in my heart of hearts because I'm, I'm doing this every day. One, I didn't go to college and I was able to figure it out. Um, and I had a skillset. I, I jumped into a niche and, and a, um, a space that is in heavy need, which is marketing. Now, it was accidental of sorts, but I jumped into that even, uh, at the latter part of my year, and I knew that that. All this, a lot of the people that are uber successful in this space and they, and there's so many places, ways to cut this up. And so many places within this space, spaces within this space that you can be successful, Uber's successful. Either doing it for yourself, doing it for others, um, Because I run a marketing agency in ca just for context. Um, so she did a lot of the jobs for me. She started training and so did her sister. Uh, sh I started training her on video editing, audio editing, photography, anything that you can imagine as it pertains to digital marketing and advertising. Uh, she's great with content. She's, she's just fantastic. So I knew that she had the skills that she was developing. I didn't know how we were gonna make it work for her. Um, so when she came to me with that, I wasn't really concerned. Um, obviously a little stressed because my kid's gonna come outta high school. What are we gonna put her in and where's she gonna, what kind of job is she gonna get? Um, but luckily there's a lot here to share actually. Yeah. One is, she had the skills. Um, she wasn't, you weren't an expert. Oh, you weren't, you weren't, uh, a fantastic anything. You were just really good, especially for her age. She's been messing with this and she's 14, 15, if not younger. Uh, so I knew that if given the opportunity, she could excel. At a quick pace, uh, which is what she did when she, somebody gave her an opportunity, a good friend of mine, uh, she interned with her and eventually hired her. When she was given a chance and allowed to shine, I knew she was gonna kick ass, um, because that's just the type of person that she is in the top of child that she wrote. That I raced. I was gonna say that, that rose like he rose for the dead or something. What were you gonna say? Um, but yes, that was like the next part. I went straight into it. I enjoyed like a month of summer and I think that was like your month and then mm-hmm. I went back to my mom's for a couple weeks and that's when I started my internship at Bold Entity. Um, And I know I was given an opportunity because, and this is where it comes back to my dad, like I was given an opportunity because of the relationships. He has his network, which I am great, so grateful for because it's, I'm still in the position, I'm still with them. So that's another thing that, that, as I give this more thought and more thought, is that. My network is their network, and this is true for, for the wealthy, the uber wealthiest, like who, you know, um, matters. And it didn't really click until I was older and I saw, saw it, the girls were g getting older. And I, I realized how much, how valuable that was gonna be over the last 14, 15, actually 14. March 1st will be my 14 year anniversary that I quit my day job. It's here in a little bit. We're filming this in the middle of February. But over the last 14 years, I've been nurturing, uh, a network of amazing human beings that I, that I love and who love me that we give to each other. We're just friendships. So Valerie was one of those individuals who one day when I met with her said, Hey, you know, what's she doing? I'm like, uh, I don't know. We haven't, we don't know yet. We're figuring it out. She's like, well, you know, she could intern with me. I'm like, oh shit. Are you serious? She said, yeah. So that took a while to work out, but. My network literally helped. You know, put her in a position to succeed. Carry on. Um, and so I started my internship and I will say like, I had a lot of doubts because, because it was an internship. It's an internship, yes. I knew I wasn't gonna be like handed, um, all this trust from the beginning. And I knew I was gonna have to work for it. And I only had so little time. Like they, I barely had any time, it was five hours a week to show that I was capable. Um, and even then, like whenever I was started giving, getting more time, that still was never enough because I had to then gain tr like they had to give me smaller projects to see. Where I can go and then like we grew from there. Um, she comes to me at some point, she like, ah, I don't know. I can go get a job somewhere else, making more money. Um, I can get more hours. I can, I was like, baby, please stick with it. I promise that it'll work out. Please, please, please cuz. Yes. Uh, what? You can get a, a job at McDonald's making 15, $20 an hour or Walmart or something. So that's fantastic. So you're gonna get some cash. Please, I promise you that long term, this job or this career, this path will be better for you. Please suck it up. Don't quit. It'll work itself out. And did it. It did, yeah. Um, and I think like after, so I was offered a full-time job as a junior content creator, um, after, and that's where it like, became like, I think that's where it's towards the end of the internship. That's where I stressed because I didn't know if I was gonna get a full-time job with them or a part-time or an extended internship to prove myself. And so, um, Towards the end of it, I was like, uh, I'm kind of at a age where I need to start making my own money. Yep. And your own decisions. And my own, yeah. And my own decisions. Yep. And so it became very stressful, but as soon as I, I got the full-time job as a junior content creator, I knew. After that I could hold on, like I can hold on to show my worth to show. Um, and it's just show what you bring to, can bring to the table? Yeah, because after that it was so much easier for me because I'm super passionate about it. It's not like I, I. Grab the, the best job I can get with my experience. No, it was because of, it's something I even told my dad like, I'm gonna be a marketer. I'm gonna have a company like you. Like I was, I'm actually va very passionate about it and so happy. And that's what what? Yes. And so it's easy to do a job that. You're happy about when you wake up. And so at that point I was already happy. Um, and I just knew I have to push myself and I have to always, and again, learn like I know I didn't go to college, but I am always educating myself on numerous things and. Better ways to do things. Mm-hmm. And, and that's what I've always told my dad. I feel like I can learn so much, but then again, I'm honest with myself. If it's something I can't do, then I won't do. Um, but I'll always try, if you give me a chance, if you tell me, if I try this, I'm gonna go try it. Especially if I'm passionate about, um, The, the whole company and like, yes. And so I was given the opportunity and now I am project coordinator and yes, and it's gonna be my two years, this year in 2023. So since I've had my internship and then since I started full-time. So yeah, that little, little bit more about me. Um, I still do photography. Yeah. And that's what kind of got me into this too, that I, um, I still say that's my art and that's when I, what I noticed in high school my senior year is I absolutely loved photography. Um, and I know anybody can do it. I know anybody can pick up a camera these days because even our, our smartphones are so smart. Like anybody can do it. I understand, but. It's still an art to it. There is, there's still the artist, uh, aspect to it. Exactly. And I just knew, um, and like I've talked to people who try to take on photography and I'm super happy for them. And then we talk about it and they're like, but the only thing I hate about photography is editing. And then that's where like, I don't relate. That's how I know I am super passionate about photography and. Photography, like it's, I know photography can be like, anybody can call a photo, oh, this is my photography. Like this is what I do. But I enjoy every aspect of what comes with photography, dealing with people. Um, Editing and I, and then actually capturing and having that eye, um, framing it and so yeah, framing it. Yes. Yeah. Um, and so that's when I knew in high school I knew I wasn't that great, but I picked it up so fast. Um, you had a side hustle for that in high school. I had a side hustle for everything about to say. But you had like list out some of the side hustles that you were, you had in high school. Yes. Cause I had to fund some of them. Most of them because I know, I know I get like a lot of, um, This is why I know she's my kid, by the way, cuz she, and she's gonna list them out here in a second. Because when I was in high school, from that point on, I was always, always had some hustle. Whether it was baseball cards, whether it was stamps, it was a drawing for people. Like I had little hustles all the time. Comic books I had that way. Yeah. But go ahead. So, and that's what I know I get, like when I tell people, yeah, this is my first job, everybody was like, dude, what? And I'm like, But I was my own hustle. I was like a hustler before this and I was making them all the money that I needed to be happy in high school. Yeah. And still focus on everything else in my life without my job, like. Like, I don't know. That was your job. That was your job, right? It was my job. It was, I was making good money and I So what were, were, what were those things? So those things were, I did photography and most, most of the time it was barely any little, like, I offered a lot of free photo shoots in high school because I, she trying get her to charge, but she's like, no, I'm still practicing. Yeah, I'm building my portfolio is how I would say it to say it. But then, so my hustles were, I sold banana pudding and then I did chocolate peppered strawberries. Cake pops and I feel like there's something else in there. It's just like a, a baked treats. That's what I did. I sold stickers. Um, yeah, so I painted, so I drew them and then I scanned them and I would print my own stickers and sell them at school. I feel like there was one more, but I know the stickers and the banana pudding. And then I didn't really do chocolate cover, like the baking very often. I did it for like special occasions, which were like Valentine's Day she'd come and take over my kitchen. It's like, Hey, I got. I don't know, like 20 orders. I need somewhere to cook it or cook. I would, yes. And I was, um, booked, but I, the reason, so this time of year, actually, I saw a memory come up recently where two years ago. We went to Sam's or something and you got the big straw, like a specific type of strawberry. You had to go to specific time because you knew that they were gonna be there. And the refresh. Big fat. Mm-hmm. Oh my God, I forgot about that. Yes. And I even got so good that I stopped using Sam's strawberries because I started finding different connections and different That's right. Place is like wholesale places to find huge strawberries and like I got really into it. Big baskets. Yeah. And it's funny because yes, Valentine today is coming up and I think about it sometimes I'm like, it's picked. Do I have the time? Do I have I that money? Because I wanted, I really liked that money. Um, but it, I was very busy. I stayed up late doing that. Yeah. Um, But I enjoyed it and that's where I, I knew I was a marketer because I had never sold treats before. Um, I had like, there were other people in school who had like a little business doing that. Um, and then I saw it and I was like, . I do that when I'm craving strawberries. I make that like I can do this. And then I've always made treats for everybody's, like my, my nephew's birthdays, and then all the gender reveals and baby showers in our family. I would always bake, so I was like, Let me try selling. And so I knew I couldn't sit here and sell without a portfolio, without building people's trust. So I sat here without marketing, without market marketing's. Right. You doing the bank? So I build a page? Yep. Um, Instagram and Facebook page. I had a little logo. Uh, I'm not too happy about how it looks now, but at the time it was a logo fire. It was a logo, and then, um, I made sure that I, I had to invest first before I can make my money. And so I sat, I went shopping, bought a whole bunch of baking stuff and, um, Yes. She went in, took a whole bunch of pictures. She went in on it just so people can see I'm capable of making beautiful treats. And so I spent, what's funny is that it wasn't even about the treat itself. It was about, cause you, you, you went big, you started going big. It was the packaging. Mm-hmm. And you did, uh, the, the thing that you hammer and like, it was the design, the, the experience. So you were understanding then, That it wasn't even just about the strawberry and the c the chocolate, uh, but, and that's the thing, and that's what I also did. I seen a lot of, a lot of people using very cheap chocolate. And I was like, I, that's where I'm gonna make myself better. And I bought really good, like baking chocolate, like what they should be probably buying not artificially fit, labored like it's like called almond bark or something like that. And so I. I was like, that's where I'm also gonna separate my, separate myself from them mm-hmm. And make myself unique. Um, and so that's what I also put out there, that I used high quality chocolate and I was even okay with sharing the chocolate because people knew they couldn't really replicate my work without spending a lot of money because, um, their money was spending a good amount of money on the chocolate. Yeah. And so, I built a very, um, I had, I was very good for a while, but then I got the internship and I became busy, um, soon after like the, after the three months, and I, I needed rest. Oh my. Because yeah, doing that, standing and baking it, it hurts your feet and your back. And so I was like, I. Didn't like coming home after, um, working and having to work some more, but, um, stand and, yeah, I was tired and so that's why I stopped doing it. But it was good while I, while I was doing it, I was able to make good money, um, and I knew how to set my price and my worth and so yeah, we had a lot of conversations around that. Yeah. And we still do. Yeah, it's an ongoing cover. We still do value price. What you charge in the marketplace is something that we talk about a lot. Um, so let's, let's switch it up a little bit. I had a, a few, another, another few questions. Okay. Um, as we start to wrap it up, I wanted to ask you something that I got torched, inflamed for, uh, on social media. Um, not so much by the people that I, that actually know me, but by the general public. As I started to share more content, uh, one of them, this topic was interesting to me because I encourage, I was talking about encouraging y'all, you both, you and your sister to argue and debate with me. Um, And people, uh, gave me a lot of crap around it because they insisted that that was wrong with this generation and, uh, disrespect and this and that. And, and I, I wanted to give them benefit of the doubt and believe that they just were taking argument in the sense that we're just like here screaming at each other. Like, you're wrong, you're wrong. Ah, but rather, uh, it was the idea that you're encouraged to argue with me, debate with me if, if you felt that I was wrong, you can come at me. And present your argument. Yes. Just like attorneys and, and uh, present an argument in court. You argue with facts. You argue with your, your position and whatever your sources, you're able to argue in such a way that it's actually beneficial. Like, uh, there is actually nothing wrong with an argument if both parties are being respected. And that's what I encouraged you to do. So my question to you is, how do you think that might have benefited you? This is a big one. Um, and by the way, I see y'all's Facebook comments don't come at my dad. Some people were like, coin in on me, but, and I, yeah. And so this is, this is a great moment where I could talk about that. Um, because my dad started that at a younger age, like where we could tell him, Actually, yeah, we think this is wrong because it affects us in this way. It makes us feel this way. And that's where he started like teaching us, I guess it would be emotional intelligence because we, we are, Okay with being told no. But then we're also okay being able to argue back, not argue like we're screaming at each other, but we're able to sit down and speak like this and say, well, you made me feel this certain way with that decision with what you did. And, and because it, it affected me greatly and I picked up, like, I think I learned so much from it that again, when I'm dealing with people now, um, Because you want, you wanna teach your kids like how to. Because when you're a parent and you're teaching a kid that you're always right, whenever they go into the real world, that's all they're gonna know. That's all they're gonna be like, okay. The adults are right because of their age. No. Yeah, I'm so wrong. But because I, I know, and I, and that also teaches me I can be wrong and to also be able to listen to the feedback like he's giving me, like, this is where I could learn something and do better. And so, That has helped me in so many ways because I know people are wrong sometimes whenever we're discussing things. But it has allowed me to be very patient and to also train them how to speak to me like, cause we, it's respect, like I'm young, but we are still, we're both human and we need to show respect because either of us can always be wrong, like majority, I think of the conversations we have these days are opinion based, so it should be. And, and yeah. A lot of it's because it all has to do with our emotions. We react on, on our emotions first. And so being able to share them patiently with him and calmly like, well, this made me feel a certain way. It, it's, it's a much smarter thing to do than a kid blowing up on you at the age of 20 because they regret. They hated how they were being treated. Like you told me I was wrong this whole time. And, and then, uh, I'm gonna find out you're wrong. You were fart, you were wrong. Yeah. And so, you know, I don't, it's, it's a cra I don't know. It's, I'm, I'm very, we never, unless a thing, I don't think I've ever raised my voice at my dad. Like there may, oh, there may have been times where I'm like, I have attitude, but um, and I know I show, I have attitude. I know I have an attitude sometimes, and my eyes, my eyebrows make, they do certain things and I don't even realize it. And, but, I don't like, we've never got into an argument we're, we've never screamed at each other. We have never, like, he may raise his voice because I left my socks out for the fifth time after he taught me not to leave out the fifth socks out, put them away it, but other than that, like when it came to everything else, we're able to have conversations and disagree with each other, and then he can learn something new about me and. I'm his child, but there's always still new things to learn. Like right there, there's a lot to that. I'm still learning and I like, yeah, I'm still learning things like we're, and that's how it should be. Um, from my point of view, from my perspective as a, a child, not a child anymore, but someone who has an amazing relationship with their dad. Um, that's how I feel It should be like it, it. You should be able to, again, validate your feelings because I feel this way. Yeah, I feel this way. Whenever someone's upset or mad, there is a reason, and it's not that the reason's wrong, but there can always be like the smallest solutions to fix it, whether it's like your tone. Didn't make me happy and I was hungry at the time. Or ma no, that's, that's a great point, but I also want to add that sometimes it's, you're arguing about facts or Yeah, my opinion based on being raised in the eighties and nineties, in your opinion. Yes. Now that we're older and we're in a much more evolved society, um, I want to listen to that. It's like, oh dad, that's an old way of looking at it. Mm-hmm. Here's, here's what's happening now, or here's what the research has shown recently that that entire notion is false. Oh, well snap. I didn't know that daughter. So it's just based on that, um, my other, our argument to this entire thing of letting them argue with me and this, that's the thing I think that people were hanging onto. And I, I, when I say I got torched, I mean I got torched by some people like, but it was fine because it gave me feedback. Language matters and, and argument arguing with your child and your ar your child ever arguing with you is seen as a negative because the perception is that the per the, your child is screaming at you, belittling you and insulting you and your, your maturity and your elder wisdom and so forth and so on. It's not that one. It makes me acknowledge that I'm not. Always right, and then maybe there's some things that are wrong. Two, I need her to be able to go out into the world and argue her, her point, not let people just run over her. Cuz that's the other thing. Yeah. People are like, well, she, they should respect their elders. See, but you're assuming that your elders are all right. And, and furthermore, you adults, I dare you to go out into the world and, and look at people that you work with and assume that all of them should be respected, that some people in your life are actually wrong and they're adults. What if your child runs into that person that she's supposed to respect them when they're, no, she needs to be able to. Share her thoughts, her opinions, her disagreements respectfully, unless they're pieces of crap, they're not. She also, I told them they're free to, to go to town on them. Um, like I'm not raising sissies. I'm not raising punks. I want them to be able to stand on their own two feet and say, no, this is wrong, dad, and this is why you're wrong now. That is it, it lit me up. It fired me up when I, when having these conversations and I, and I will, yeah, you can tell he's, yeah, because I ain't trying to raise no punks. See, he doesn't even talk to us like that. Like No, you really made him mad. Um, so another, yeah, and that's, dang, I kind of forgot what I was gonna say. Oh, no. Um, but yes, it just, it, it teaches like, I'm not gonna be, someone may think they got away with something when they're speaking to me, but I know I, like, they didn't run over me. Um, and it's just, it's another way of teaching boundaries, right? Yeah. And every relationship, whether it be, um, Like an intimate relationship or a work relationship. It teaches boundaries in how you allow people to speak to you. Because if, if my parents are teaching me, Hey, you don't speak to me that way, when I go out to the real world, What am I like? How am I gonna defend myself? Where she, where she gonna, how am I gonna feel comfortable? Where does she get the practice? Yeah, yeah. Where am I gonna feel confident? And especially when I know I'm right. And the thing is, it's also taught me like when to stop arguing. Like when, because we've always got down to the solutions and we've resolved problems. But if I'm speaking to someone and I'm having to repeat myself, then I know it's okay. They're not interested in learning and growing as a human. So that's where you just stop and you, you learn from that person. Like when I interact with them, don't do this because, yeah, you just learn personalities and how to have relationships and set boundaries with certain people, and so that's why it's so important to learn that at an early age. Um, or else your kid is gonna be fighting everyone or your kid is gonna be being stiff. Be pushed over. Yeah. Pushed over and Yeah. Nobody wants their kid to be pushed over. They wanna be able to have their children wander the world successfully. Well, how does that happen? Yeah. It starts at home and it teaches, um, me how to deal with my emotions when I know I, when I'm wrong. Mm-hmm. When I am proven wrong. Yeah. Um, And so it's, it's not the end of the world. It's, I learned something new and now we're going to take note of it and we're gonna make sure it doesn't happen again. And so there, there's so much importance in teaching that at a early age. Um, because now like I'm in the real world world and this is where I've learned a lot, I, it's helps you set boundaries. Yeah. It helps you set expectations. That's good. Um, and yeah, because again, like. If you raise your child to be that kind of like scared of adults. Mm-hmm. Expect expectations of all adults become scary. Like now they're scared to speak to any adult because they're Right. You know, whatever they say, well, they can't, they can't do anything. Right. Right. Or as a young child or a young, like, I, I, I have to watch my every word because I'm the young kid in this relationship, or I'm the young kid at work, I can't speak up. I can't, you know, it's, it's just bad. I, I just don't see a way where that. Is good. Not if you really unpack that other than just old notion of you should always respect your elders, dude. And the thing, the thing is, I think this where another, um, we're a place part. Mm-hmm. We still respect our elders. Elders. We're elders. Sorry. Sorry, elders. We're, we are still respectful. Yeah. But we were respectful to everyone. It's not like he said, he said, um, we don't have to listen to our elders. Um, so we go out there and we're rude to all our elders. No, we still, we're just setting, we're just. Letting people know that our, our voices matter as well. Um, And how we should be. Cuz then again, we're te if, if I'm wrong, I would hope that I manage that relationship well enough that they're not screaming at me to prove a point. Mm-hmm. That I They can speak to you. Yeah. That they can speak to me as well. Like we're always training people how to, how to treat us. And so, because I learned how to be patient and, and I think the best word is debate. Debate what's right or wrong. Because again, a lot of stuff is opinion like. And emotion driven when it comes to like, some of these decisions. Yeah, it may, you may be right, but again, I, it may be rude, but you're doing it like Yeah, you're making it, you're wrong. Yeah. You're being rude while, while trying to prove your point. So it makes me feel like you're wrong because I'm hurt. Yeah. Now you're gonna dig And so, yeah. And so that's just, yes. Fantastic. So next I wanted to ask you to share with the people, cuz this is something that I talk about a lot is what was your experience from first person? I've always shared this from a third person perspective as their, your father, you and your sister's father. But what was your experience about doing spoken word and what did you take out of it? Cause you were, you started doing it when you were 10, 20, 12, and I was eight. So you were 10. I was nine. You were nine. And she was seven. Yeah. Cause I'm turning 21. So she's turning 20. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Ah. At the end of the year. End the end of the year. At the end, she just turned 20. At any rate, what was your experience like? Nevermind the date, it was just, It was here. What was your experience with spoken word and with something that you would encourage others to do? Um, because for me, I'll share this off the top. I feel like that was one of the best teaching tools, free teaching tools to teach you how to write, share your emotions, listen to your peers. Uh, as well as get up on stage mm-hmm. With a mic and essentially do public speaking, which is a lot of people are scared to do. What was your experience from first person perspective, um, while doing that? Um, Okay. So I felt like it was a good experience because one, I wasn't writing what everybody wanted me to write, like in school. Mm-hmm. Um, there are so many like boxes, like so many rules you have to follow, but in poetry, that was my way of being creative. While writing. Cause I have never been a fan of writing like I am reading. Like I, I like, I really struggle. Like I just, it's like I see my little sister and I'm like, wow. She like, just loves it and I just don't, and it's just so poetry. They're two different kids. Amazing. Two very distinct, differently, different kids. Yes. And so, um, It was a way for me to enjoy writing for sure. And then of course it was an outlet to my emotions. Like I can write everything. I never really was able to, I don't think I like, cause I kind of stopped it at a certain age to really express it. Like speak about everything that I've written about, like actually perform it. Um, Because I just wasn't ready to do that. I felt like I was at a age, like, you know, I don't wanna be disowned by my, like, people I've, um, come across and everything. So I, I never was able to do that, but, Uh, it was still like, I still write to this day. It may not be the best poem or the best, but I sit there and I You write for yourself? Yes. I write, I, I like that and I lock it. Joaquin always talks about that, and I, and I lock it like on my phone. Um, it has like, so no one will ever read it mm-hmm. Unless I'm ready to share it. Wow. And so, um, and it really is the outlet for whenever I feel stressed, um, I feel down, um, I feel like used something like that's where I, I rather ride it than sit there and scream at someone's face. Like that's, that's where it has it, it has become my therapy. Therapy therapy. Yes. Wow. You said it right when I was coming outta my mouth. It's my therapy. Yes. Um, and then, and also because it's been a way, like maybe I am crazy sometimes and overly emotional, so I go back and like fit what? They took a piece of chicken. Why are you mad that they, yeah. Like I'm So is this really in your journal? No. Okay. It's serious. It's serious stuff, but I am overreacting sometimes, so, okay. Um, and then, yes, performing and. Speaking, even just before getting up on stage, being in a group of people who have very similar stories, um, really, really helped because they were all young. And I know me and Anna were younger. You're the youngest. We were the always the youngest. Yes. Um, but I, like I saw it as way. Um, like, oh, there's other people like me in different shapes and colors. Um, and it's not, it's not like the world has it out for me, you know, like whenever I'm sad, it's not like it's just me. Like it. And so, and then being able to speak in a group. So that helped. First I, that's where I did share a little more, um, in that group. Yeah, in that group, in the smaller group, you share a lot more and then of course they give you advice. They give you feedback. Yeah, feedback. And there's just like friendships cuz we were young and very young compared to some of the, the people in our group and they treated us. Like we were them. Um, so the group is, at the time, I think they're still running. Yes. They still running. Dallas Youth Poets, which was originally founded by Joaquin Si. Um, They accepted them, they took them in, they were like their little mascots. They loved on 'em, uh, and allowed them to share their own mind and share their own pieces. And literally they were way too young. Cause the group was to her to kind of give you more context, it was specifically for teenagers. Well, when they got started, they weren't even teenagers. They were nine and seven. Um, and we made it a, our monthly thing, we'd go to the, the workshop that, that was hosted every single month and then they just showed up. Did the work and they did all the work. Yes, we would go home and do our homework. Mm-hmm. Whenever they assign stuff, um, we would come upstairs and do it. Um, and so that, that really helped as well. And then it, it builds trust. Like it teaches you, you can trust humans. Like no matter what you're going through at home and stuff, there are people you can trust and so there shouldn't be any reason why you're not. Vulnerable to certain people. Like there shouldn't be a reason why you're not opening up. Um, and then getting on stage that yes, gave me so much confidence. Um, I can speak to anyone now, but then of course, like going back to being able to debate with him and argue our points, that gave me more confidence. So like, it's like, like these two, like things became my, like, are their strengths. Um, And I think a lot of people who are like leading me and stuff will say that, like, that is my strength. I am a people person. Um, I can talk to people, I can relate to them when I literally have nothing to relate to. Like, I'm like, I'm relating like, I don't know, like I don't know how I'm doing it, but because I'll tell you how you're doing it because we're all human beings at the end of the day. Yeah. Now, granted, you may not be. From Ireland, redhead and aerospace. They're still human beings. So I think that's cuz you're just a cool person from, you know, speaking from a very biased point of view. I agree with you, but you, you're, you're just a good person. And when you're good person, good vibe, you can, uh, connect with almost anyone. Yes. So yes, it taught me how to speak in big groups. Um, but I've always, yeah, so I have, I've had my shy moments, um, even going into the industry that I'm in now. I know I've had my shy moments, but it isn't as bad as I know it is for others. Um, I was shy, but I wasn't scared. You know, I wasn't, and you're still so nervous that my stomach was hurting that I was gonna go throw up the second I left. My palms were sweaty. It was just, I was growing. Right. Eminem, he's weak. Oh, palms sweaty. Um, palm spaghetti. Um, I was, but I was, I was still. Able to do it. It's just, I just had to learn reps. Yeah. And then now my dad wasn't next to me, you know? Mm-hmm. It wasn't like he was always next to me. He wasn't in the room. Cause my dad always has pushed us to learn how to give people a handshake and introduce ourselves and start up conversations. But now I was really doing it with no one watching me and telling me what I did wrong. So I had to learn on my own. Yeah. Um, at that point I was like, okay, now I need to. Start listening, like realizing what I did wrong and it's not wrong, but you did better what I could do better. That's, yeah. So yeah, that's what really helped me. And then also, um, he has let us choose what we want to do and want, like to pursue. And the big thing was he wanted to push us to be in and perform and be in a group. But for me, um, Like I, I wasn't able to still share a lot of poetry at my age. I felt like I wasn't ready. Um, and so that's when I told him like it wasn't something I wanted to do, like perform, like I still will perform now, like go up on stage and share peace, but compete and all. That wasn't something I was interested in. For me, it wasn't never about forcing you and you know that. Yeah. But. It didn't matter to me. For you. For me, and this is something I I've been thinking about a lot recently, um, especially yesterday, I actually put this together, a little list of activities that we did that mm-hmm. Cost nothing. I, it was never about competition. It was about the reps there. She's not a, a world champion spoken word poet. Uh, she did chess. She's not a chess champ. Uh, she does basketball. She obviously doesn't play in the W N B A. It was never about playing at some elite level that, uh, she's crushing the world in. But it's about the skillsets that it takes. The different skills it takes to actually be decent at those things. Uh, public speaking, writing, sharing emotions, being vulnerable, uh, hearing other people's emotions, recognizing that we are all human and we're, it's not just, and you said this, this is big. Knowing that your peers are going through something. All of them are going through something and maybe even worse. So being able to, uh, empathize and, and mm-hmm. And realize that as bad as it is for you, some people have it worse. That doesn't mean that you know that that's a good thing, but just know that everyone's going through something. So for me, all those things mattered more than ever competing. It was never about the competition. It would've been cool, but it was like, okay, that's cool. I just thought maybe you wanted to, since that was the idea. Once it became teenagers at the Dallas Youth Posts thing mm-hmm. Was to compete. Cuz once you become a teenager you compete. But they both said to me, you're like, no, we don't really want to do that. I'm like, okay, done. Yeah. We don't have to worry about it. That's, and that's how it's always been for our decisions. Like he trust, he has, he has parent. Parented us well enough that he knows that our decisions are for the better. Like they're for our, like, they're good. They're, they're, yeah. You've, you, you, you, I trust that you're coming from a place of like, I don't wanna do it cuz of this. And like, oh, good reasoning. Yeah. Like, Perfect. That's all I need to hear. Then we'll stop, or we'll go whenever you want. We'll go support and hear your, your friends perform here or there. Yep. But you do not have to worry about it like we're done with that then. Yeah. And so, and that's where I think we can end it is a lot of people. Mm-hmm. You're ending it all right. A lot of people assume and. That's gonna be interesting. Like I even had friends because my dad is an online person, an online figure. So I had people following my dad, but people assumed that my dad handed us a lot of stuff and we were, we were given a lot like spoiled. And I never, I never actually took it like, oh, like, dude, it kind of like, I was always like, okay, I, I. I, I guess, um, but we weren't, because I, I know of, of like, I talked to my boyfriend and everybody was like given toys and given everything. Um, but we never really had that. Um mm-hmm. We had experiences and. It amazes people whenever they ask me like, oh, do you know how to do this? I was like, yeah, I do actually. So a lot of those experience was like chess, boxing, the slam poetry. What else? You did? Some park core. We did some park core. What else? Um, we did, he taught us how many, taught me how to shoot a basketball, how to throw a football, how to toss a Frisbee. Um, literally how. Kites. Oh my goodness. Kites. We've done kayaking, like, and these were, and then like just drawing and painting. These were all editing photos, editing videos, editing photos, take photos. These were all a lot of free and very affordable experiences. They were just experiences that he gave us, but because we were happy children and we showed that and we were like happy for him to. Be our father. People assumed that I was being spoiled and I was, I've been given everything. And so it was like, yeah, I was given experiences. Like he taught me a lot of stuff. And like when we learned chess, we were taught, um, lessons like, but our life is a chess game. Mm-hmm. And so it was like, it was so many things that, um, I, I can name so many that I wasn't given as a child, like, like technology and stuff. It took us a while to get it. And then even then we're limited for good reasons. Mm-hmm. Um, But it's crazy. Um, that's what, but that's what he was able to give us and it taught us so much and we, that's why I think I can relate to so many people, like, cuz I have so much to talk about. I have all these experiences. Like, yes, we traveled, we went to Austin, I. But again, we were there for the experiences. We went walking. We would do like different things. We weren't always like doing, we didn't travel overseas or anything like that. Yeah. And it was just like, because I made it look like so fun because I was actually having so much fun. People assumed I was like, given everything, you're just a little wealthy, Brett. Yeah. That's how I was treated and I'm like, Just because I have a good father doing what he's supposed to be doing doesn't mean I'm a spoiled brat. And that's like how I've always seen it. It's, but that's how it should be. And I, that's the way the reason Anna and I are the way we are and why we value our friendships and why we value so much about life. And so, and even like the small things like we're able to value the small experiences people are able to give us, um, And so, yeah. Thank you for that. You're welcome. I appreciate that. I just wanted, yeah, I just wanted to put it out there that we are not, we are not like, we are not spoiled children. Like we, when we weren't, well, we, I didn't have a lot of money to spoil them with. Yeah. Like, it was, I, I guess to rephrase that, I did spoil them. I loved the shit out of him. I love Donald Every chance I got, uh, every time. And I've told this story, so, but I'll tell it again for the context of this video and this podcast is, I gave them as much as I could. Um, but it, it was always experiences. It was never, I, I, they don't, we have one tv. We always only had one tv. We don't have TVs in every room. They didn't have all, every toy they wanted. We don't have a gaming system. We never have. Um, we were just doing things and most of the time, It was cheap stuff. Going to the park, playing some basketball. Uh, park Core was free. There was a guy that would teach, uh, uh, workshops on once a month. There was the poetry that was free. There was chess. That's always free. So it was all these things for free. Cuz for the, for the longest I didn't have much money. So although I did not spoil them. In the traditional way that people assume, Hey, I gave you buy, buy you this, buy you that, buy you gadget. No, I took 'em to do things. Um, now we're doing things that are a little more expensive. Mm-hmm. But even then, it, it's the experience of it all. Uh, and I, I learned that early on and I think being, being broke for so long, like I refused to let that be an excuse and not be involved within their lives. Um, But I learned that early on. It's like, just give 'em experiences because I think this is what's gonna, they're gonna remember. Um, they're not gonna remember some damn toy. I bought them that was hot in, I don't know, 2012. Um, cause that, and it's crazy. It's like, He, you actually have never bought us a toy? No, not once. Not only, not once. I never bought you dolls. We had toys, but they were like stuffed animals and they were given to us. They were given to us. Yeah. After a divorce, people felt bad for me. So they're like, here, take these. And they were like the, um, like literally stuffed animals. And that's what we had and that's what Anna and I. And then, but our toys, like our experiences was were paint bubbles, hula hoops. Um, and then Frogger was one of them. Like we watch It was the only, it an app. It was an app on the phone. That's right. No, no. At the time it was on the big tv. In the Abus we had, yeah. Oh, it was a cd. I don't even know if this, oh, CD Rom. And then it was, that's right. I got it for at Half Price Books. I do remember that in that seat we had that one and I think High School Musical, and that's the only movies that we had running on our tv. But Frogger was so fun. Like we learned our ABCs through Frogger and stuff. Yeah. It was actually not Frogger. It was something with a frog name said with a frog. Not the game. Frog. Do remember you're talking about it. So Frogger, you had it on the app. That was something I enjoyed. Oh, we had our iPod. Yeah, that was, but that was further down too. Yeah, that was, we had an apartment by then, but, but yeah, that's, um, I, and that's, that's where we were spoiled. Like we had those experiences. That's funny. But that anybody can have. Yeah. And create, and it was. Yeah, I think y'all looked forward to it. That's something I told people was like, dad, what are we doing this weekend? What are we doing? This? It was now at Ike. We still do it. Like now I'm like, Hey you, when are we gonna the park again? Yeah. Sunday. Yeah, let's go play. You be like, it's too cold. Don't expect it. Yeah. Likeactually. I would've been wanting to go out, but it's still dang cold. Yeah. Um, it feels good right now. It was, I was out there. I was walking a little bit. Did you see the video I recorded for you? Yeah, I did. Did, what'd you think? Yeah, I was, I was, that was pretty good for a 22nd clip. I was promoting this, this podcast, check for it. Um, last thing I'll say, because I think it's funny, some, I had a a, a handful of people, I'm glad you're here to prove to the world that I do have her. I am a father. I am not just making this up. I had a handful of people say, does this idiot even have parents? That is some whack ass advice. Like, that's stupid. That would never work in the real world. And it, it made me laugh. I, and that's the thing, I am judging y'all so much and I will say like, not you, but you personally, the people who say that y yes. Because does even have kids. I'm like, it it, it's crazy that. I guess how you were raised and how you choose to raise your children. Um, you think it's the right way and the only way, and then I, if it, I mean, dude, if it works for you, great. Yeah. But to, to assume that there's not another way, which is I am literally the living proof. I know it's very hard for people to believe. We have, we don't argue. Like, I don't, I can't think of a time where I raised my voice at you, like, because we've been able to share our feelings. People don't believe me either. And yeah. It's just like I. I really, because, you know, I am someone who raises my voice and I She is, she does get passionate and hostile at times. Yes. Just not at me. I has never been with him like I've been. Yeah. And so, um, it, it's, it's insane because I see your comments and even like, My friends, some of my closest friends view his stuff and see those comments and they're like, dude, what the heck they do? They not know him. Like what? Like no. And I'm like, don't. No, they don't. They assume that there is only one right way and this is the proof that there is another right way. And there are probably so many other ways. Yeah. There is a multitude that there you, yeah. There's so many ways to parent. Um, And then, but this was a great outcome of parenting like this cuz you, there's so many different ways to parent, but not always, um, have the best outcome. But this is, we're saying that this is the best, um, this is a great outcome because I have an amazing relationship with my dad. And so, and I ch Yeah. Like I choose to come over. You choose to be here. I choose to be here. I think my computer just crushed It. Did it. Did it? Oh, it's dying. Hold on. It died. Ah, no, it's not good. It did. It just died right now. Ah, what a moron. Why didn't I not charge it? Well, wow. So that just happened. Uh, so we reported on two cameras. One just died because technical reasons. At any rate, um, we'll wrap it up there. Thank you for being here. Thank you for sharing with the world that you are my daughter. Please don't ask for a birth certificate at some point. You're just gonna have to believe that it's true. Please believe it, like the photos are out there. Um, I do appreciate you for coming on board, coming and recording this, playing my phone microphone here. Um, I love you dearly. Uh, it's crazy to believe that at, oh man, that's not good. It is crazy to believe that you're a full grown adult and you have a life and you're doing all the things, but I'm incredibly proud of the human being you are, and I guess I'll leave you with this. I didn't know what was gonna happen. I knew that I needed to do better for them and for myself, but for them, and. At the end of the day, as long as I raised good human beings, I knew that they were gonna figure out their way in the world. They're still doing it, but I know they are good human beings. And for that, I'm internally grateful and I love you. Love you dearly. Thank you for being my help. I love you too. Thank you for being my dad. So until next time, uh, my name is Teevee from the Teevee Show Podcast. That's me. Have a great day and talk soon. I gotta run because my computer's about to blow up. This is crazy. Bye.